Lets get real.

Have you ever felt like you've just hit a wall? Like you are praying and it feels so distant and so far that your words bounce back and come rushing down before your thought is even finished? Cold? I hate that feeling, the knowing in your heart that God is so real yet feeling that He is the furthest away. Anybody with me? 

That's been me lately and ladies it is one frightening thing. I know how real my Savior has been in my life and I've witnessed His healing and His hand in so many situations and yet lately I have had a hard time hearing anything He was trying to say to me. 

Until, with weeping eyes and an open heart, I poured it all out to the Lord. Alone in a cold house in England I heard a whisper, one so clear that it all made the most sense

..."come and seek me"...

That's when I decided to share this "valley" story with you. It's so easy to share the mountain top experiences and so easy to post about the blessings but it's not so easy to share the heart of the matter. 

John 10:27 says so directly, 

This verse struck a chord within my soul. It made me think of the most familiar voices that I know...Stephen, my mom and my best friends. Before they even form a sentence, even a word for that matter, I know exactly who is at the other end of the line. I know their voice so intimately. How? Because I know them and I've known them for years...I know how to make them laugh and I know what makes them cry. I KNOW THEM. So when they call I know exactly who I am dealing with at the other end of the telephone...sometimes even miles and miles away I can still distinguish like I am right in their presence.

 And then it hit again.

..."Listen to my voice..." 

I need to know His voice to listen. Ouch. Tears continued to flow...

Life gets hectic and to say that the Lord has been the one in the drivers seat would be a lie. These past few months have been a whirlwind, one I'm so thankful for, but also one of the biggest adventures of my life. 

He continued to speak and brought one of the most comforting promises to my memory.

Jeremiah 29:13

Not half of your heart, all of it. And then the most comforting of things...you will find me and that wall will crumble again. He didn't hide from me, I just wasn't seeking with my whole heart. It's like the Lord was faintly whispering... seek me more. He was calling me to come find Him. A little 5 minutes here and there when it was convenient for me just isn't enough. 

..."Seek me more. Come find me and then you will be able to hear what I'm saying"...

Wow. 

This may not mean anything for any of you but I felt it hit me like a ton of bricks and I felt like I needed to share it. I'm ever-so thankful for His unconditional grace. I love that I can weep before Him. I've been secretly terrified of being stripped of my comfort zones but in that I'm finding out more and more everyday how easier it makes it to rely on the almighty. My world has been rocked. I've grown up in the same church since I was 8 and I've never had to go church "shopping", I've never known what it was like to feel like the new kid on the block. My home was everything that I've ever known. Until now. 

It's easier at this moment to rest in the knowledge that there is a purpose and a plan for Stephen and I here. That we are called to do something bigger right where we are and when we seek Him we will find Him. The more we seek and follow the more He will let us in on His plan and we will be able to fulfill our purpose. It won't matter if I don't get the job I'm stressing about because I can rest in the fact that there is a unique and perfect plan. 

So on this final Thankful Thursday there many things here that I'm so blessed by;

A husband who wants to lead us and our family in the right way.
A church that we feel more & more called to every week
Friends near and far that genuinely care
That my grandparents FaceTime us whenever they feel like because they are that "hip" ha

Little glimpses of encouragement weaved into my day

Katie @ Hope Engaged

Kristen @ Love done simply

Emily @ Meme and He

Allison @ Nestful of Love

And the ladies who I have done this book reading with who have become such great friends even though we are in all different corners of the world. 

Chapter 10 & 11 was on grace & praise and the above fit perfectly into this part of the book. I'd highly recommend reading it yourself!