The waiting game.

Tomorrow is the day that I used to dread. Especially in high school when the girls with boyfriends had balloons, flowers and teddy bears that matched them in size to mark the fact that they were without a doubt, "taken". Obviously they had this dating game nailed and they were loved endlessly and would drift off into a 'happily ever after' and the 'high school sweetheart' story that those sappy country songs praised. Right? Not exactly. Not for most anyway.

Although I used to be am a sucker for all things romancy and sappy and I had my small dose of high school giddiness, I was thankfully shown at an early age what the love-worth-waiting-for looked like. I knew that the good Lord above had it all figured out and I knew that there was someone worth waiting for. 

But what I also saw was that timeline that I created when I was in my early teens. You know the one, in fact this really cool ridiculous game named MASH told me exactly what my future would look like. No I didn't really believe that game but I did use it to enhance my daydreams a time or two. At an early age I knew when I was going to land the perfect job, at what year I would be married and the exact age I would be when I birthed my first child. 

Then life happened and thankfully my plans fell by the wayside.

So today on the eve of this Hallmark-sappy love-filled-day my heart is tender for those who are 'waiting'. Or for those who have lost their ever-after. Those who's hearts aren't content and yearn for someone to fill that special desire. Although I can't possibly know each circumstance, I can say that at one time I, too, was alone. I was that girl with no balloons, conversation hearts or a flower delivery. Sure my daddy never let me go without some necessary chocolate, but I still hadn't met 'the one'.

So below is some of the advice I learned and some things I wish I would have learned as the single lady. These little tid bits are for you, the one who still has the right to wave her hand in the air and announce that 'if he likes then he needs to put a big fat shiny diamond ring on it'...or something like that ;)

Let me first start by saying that I wish I had embraced every single piece of this advice myself. I would be lying to you to admit that there were no tears, no cartons of ice cream devoured and that I didn't spend hours wondering when I would meet Mr.Right.

Marriage is a two person team and YOU aren't the center anymore. Although I still like to think I'm the princess, I know I'm not. I know that now that I'm married I'm called to do as Christ intended and 'become one'. As great as that sounds, you can't become one until you know YOU. So use this time as a single all-about-you gal and learn all that you can about who you are. Find out what your dreams are, if you haven't yet start diving into what your purpose in life looks like. Discover the little things. What makes you tick? What are your passions? What are some of those 'bucket list items' that you've always wanted to do? What do you absolutely desire in a future husband, the things that mustn't waiver. It's easy to compromise so knowing the ins and outs of who you are will only aid in discerning what and who you need as a helpmate for the rest of your life.

This is a fun one. Because slumber parties, late night coffee dates and routine shopping trips are my thing. Bestie talks that carry over until wee hours of the morning are some of life's best medicine and late night laughter is good for the soul. But this isn't so easy when you have a husband. Not that I'm saying they come to a sudden halt, but dynamics change. You share life with someone else now and they rightly become the number one priority. Believe me when I say it's not a bad thing but reality is that it does change. So take this time to embrace the singleness. Spend time investing in others, get involved in a charity or mission project. Use this time before the responsibility of marriage to soak up this special period in your life. 

Sure it might sound contradictory but hear me out. In order to 'be ready' we must be in a state of independence. Yep that's right. As great as it might be to think that Mr.Wonderful will fill every void and satisfy your every need is false. A spouse is created to help us walk through life, to join us in the journey and to fulfill the Creators purpose as team. I even catch myself sometimes expecting Stephen to supply my every need and although he is perfectly imperfect for me the Lord still wants that other piece. During this time soak up being totally dependent on Him {capital H-I-M}. During this precious time He will romance you like you've never known, and He will develop your heart and prepare you for the journey ahead. He wants to be able to set the standard and call you His before any helpmate comes and sweeps you away. He is your creator and He will be the best Valentine that you've ever had until he decides to send Prince Charming galloping your way.

That's right. Go and do. Be the best you can be and enjoy this time without other family dynamics, without another's time schedule, and without having to share your time with someone. {Don't get me wrong marriage is a beautiful thing and I wouldn't trade it for the world} However, take this time to be the best you that you can be. Also use this time to pray for your husband and your future marriage. One thing that I'm so thankful that I did during this time in my life was to pray and write love letters to my future spouse. Every letter described a certain feeling, a milestone and a genuine and deep care for the man that God created for me. When I presented this to Stephen he was over joyed that through all of this time he was on my mind and covered with prayer without him even realizing it. Ladies, trust me your future husband WILL appreciate this. So use this time to develop who you are and what your heart truly desires.

I'm genuinely praying for YOU today on this eve of the most sappiest holiday of the year. My prayer is that the Lord protects your heart and that He does a wonderful work in you until you meet your future husband. I pray that his heart will also be covered in protection and that he is saving himself for you at this very moment. I pray for discernment and guidance and that the Lord's grace covers you both during this moment of singleness. For those who are hurting, I pray specifically today that the Lord will continue to put people in your path to encourage you and lift you up and that Jesus will romance you and speak tenderly to your heart and show you that he can heal the brokeness and whisper sweetly to your soul.