3.26.2014

Danger of perfection.



My hands are up and I'm guilty. The very thought of this word eats right through me and I find myself spinning my little wheels as fast as I can and lay my head on my pillow, more nights than not, only to feel a sense of utter failure. Sure I may have waken before the sun, worked a 10 hour day, responded to all of my personal emails, may have even whacked out a blog post or two, updated my social media accounts, Facetimed home, squeezed in a quick workout, whipped up a dinner, tidied up and had a convo with S to catch up on our day and life in general, and yet I fall asleep feeling completely unaccomplished. I mean the laundry wasn't touched, I didn't have time to call and catch up with that friend, my to-do list still looks like a brainstorm, my closet looks like some kind of war zone, things at work are still looming over my head, my blog needs nurtured and could use an update and lets be honest the dinner was much less than a 5 star steakhouse. Woosh
Lets face it, life is chaotic and with social media and this fast paced kinda mentality all around us the word perfection can seem so easy. Just flip through that insta feed of yours and instantly you'll find your modern day portrait of a susie-homemaker meets Martha Stewart, meets Oprah, meets Miranda Kerr in one little insta bundle. But is that real? Is that sustainable? What is reality? It all seems so blurred, if she can do it surely I can.  
 
I've said it once and I'll say it again. I.am.guilty. I'm guilty of outwardly expressing perfection but internally feeling burnt out and utterly exhausted and for who? Is it for my husband? Somewhat. Is it for my friends/fam back home? Kinda. Is it for my new friends here? Sort of. Is it for my bloggy readers? Partly.  Is it for my Jesus? Not if my heart isn't in the right place. Is it healthy? No. You will burn out. 
 
A friend sent an article to me and within it this quote struck a chord. 
“We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving… We pride ourselves on getting as little sleep as possible and thrive on self-deprivation. We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We are the daughters of the feminists who said, “You can be anything,” and we heard, “You have to be everything.” - Courtney E. Martin’s
 
I keep hearing God whispering the same thoughts over and over - stop doing and juggling all of these different plates and focus on the few which I have called you to and be excellent at those. Stop striving for perfection, do you not realize that this journey you are on is just a sweet as the destination? Do you not realize that the ultimate goal is to glorify me and love others. Stop being so busy that you miss this mark. Stop worrying and consuming your mind with thoughts of doubt and fear and replace them with my promises that I will never leave you, I will never forsake you and the promise that if you choose to deny yourself daily and follow me your paths will lead to perfection. Not necessarily the worldly accolades and perfection by the worlds definition but a rather an internal prize far better than that,  crowns are stored up for my children in heaven.  And let's rewind back to that honesty thing - this chic loves some royal treatment. It's true.
 
This scenario reminds me of our Martha {Luke 10:38-42}. The woman, who while in the presence of her creator opted to clean, tidy and busy her herself instead of worshipping him. She neglected the Savior's presence and the blessings he brought right in front of her.  I believe this story was illustrated in the bible for those, like me, to show us that busyness and exhaustion wasn't what was intended but rather to stop & love. This scenario also reminds me of another piece of advice that I once heard on how to tackle a day and it was about taking each task as it comes and simply 'doing the next thing'. We don't have eight arms. We have two. We must complete one task and then move onto the next, or as S says, "eat the elephant one bite at a time'.
 
I encourage you today to remember these promises, and amongst our crazy lives instead of getting wrapped up in perfection, consider the journey and always choose love. 
 photo Tara-16_zpsec1fb878.png

22 comments:

  1. Thank you, just thank you. I have been feeling overly overwhelmed lately, actually in tears over it last night. Thank you for a little reminder and a snap back to reality :)

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  2. Your words are so true. You reminded me of a great talk on pretty much this exact subject given by one of my church leaders . . . You can see it here: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/of-things-that-matter-most?lang=eng
    [for the record, he's a pilot, so he almost always brings airplanes into his talks, so that's why he says that funny comment near the beginning :)]

    ashleynicoleholmes.blogspot.com

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  3. I.love.this. I am a major (major!) perfectionist and don't let myself feel accomplished at the end of the night if I haven't crossed every single thing off my to-do list plus got other things done, too. Why do we do this to ourselves? And what an enlightening quote. It's certainly something I know I need to be more aware of - this perfectionist girl needs to give herself a break sometimes! And you do, too :)

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  4. This is amazing!! It's so easy to feel like everything you're doing is in adequate and punishing ourselves because we aren't perfect is just not right. I'm reading Lean In and she talks a lot about the "having it all" mentality and that you really can't have and do it all - something has to give in order to accomplish something else. Thanks for doing this!! :)

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  5. WOW: “We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving… We pride ourselves on getting as little sleep as possible and thrive on self-deprivation. We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We are the daughters of the feminists who said, “You can be anything,” and we heard, “You have to be everything.” - Courtney E. Martin’s

    WHERE IS THIS QUOTE FROM??? This just hit me in the face.

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  6. Thank you for penning this! Oh my goodness! I was just thinking about my planner and how cute I thought it was. Every day I would try to write in it, filling up my calendar! I was in crazy writing things to do mode. It was fun but also frazzling! There was something that you said that God has been whispering to you, about doing the things He wants you to do. SO.GOOD! So that is my prayer, that I would be doing what He wants me to do because I'm getting tired of wasting time. And I've found how amazing I feel after I've done what I believe He wants me to do. Not only that but to BE myself and like no one else! Thank you! What a great post!

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  7. I love that quote. Wow. We do feel like we have to be everything don't we?
    Love you, love your heart...I needed this. As I sit down at 8:16pm to tackle bits of what haven't been done on my to do list. Sigh...you are a breath of fresh air to me!!!! Thankful for you, twinnie! xx

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  8. Wonderful post! That quote is seriously powerful and so so true in my life as well. I love the Bible reference too, I think it's important to sit back sometimes and realize what really matters in life. Those reality checks are good for the soul. Thanks for the reminder, girl!

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  9. This post right here IS PERFECTION. That quote is perfect. Everything said within this is exactly right!!!! Thank you! :)

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  10. I love this post, girl, especially that quote! I took a quick break to read blogs (at 9 pm), and this is obviously something I needed to hear.

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  11. YES YES YES!!!!! I feel the sting of un-achieved perfect far too often! HE has been challenging me so much lately to slow down, focus on what HE has called me to & do it to the best of my ability. Not always easy it do, but with sisters like you encouraging me onward, I know I can do it & hopefully encourage others along the way.

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  12. I feel like every single woman can testify to feeling the frustrations of trying to be Ms. Superwoman. I hate going to bed feeling unaccomplished... I usually end up not sleeping well thus making the next day even longer. Here's to loving more and perfecting less! Thanks for sharing.

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  13. This post was written for me. I am constantly on a mission to become a better me. In my mind that means to cook better meals, teach my children their abc's, clean my house better, attend more events and the list goes on. In reality none of that makes me a better me. Thank you for this, it really hit home with me.

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  14. There are times that I find myself so disheartened because I don't feel like I'm living up to the standards of perfection. But then I ask myself whose standards I am trying to meet. And if they're not God's standards (who doesn't expect perfection anyway) then it really doesn't matter! Thank you for this reminder today. I needed it!

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  15. awful piece of information, I had come to know about your blog from my friend vimal, mumbai,i have read atleast 13 posts of yours by now, and let me tell you, your blog gives the best and the most interesting information. This is just the kind of information that i had been looking for, i'm already your rss reader now and i would regularly watch out for the new posts, once again hats off to you! Thanks a million once again, Regards, bob marley quotes

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  16. This is so true. I see this topic pop up in blogland from time to time but I've never read something I relate so much with, spoken/written so well! Thank you for sharing this!

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  17. Tara. You are awesome. Preach it!

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  18. your blog is beautiful. I love the whole feel of your site.

    http://abeautifulheart07.blogspot.com/

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  19. Hey! Great post I just came across
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  20. Yes, such truth! How often we feel like we need to be everything - when all we need is to hand over everything to the One who can fulfill us. SO needed this today. Thanks for sharing you precious heart.

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Love hearing from you, every thought and sweet note is a blessing. Thanks for being a day maker :)